TODAYS WORD FOR FRIDAY FEBRUARY 8, 2013.
SIBLING RIVALRY
DEFINITION:
Seeking to achieve the same object or
goal as a brother or sister; trying to equal or outdo a brother or a sister.
SCRIPTURE:
"Whoever hates his brother is in
darkness and walks around in darkness; he does not know where he is going,
because the darkness has blinded him." 1 John 2:10
KNOWLEDGE AND EXPERIENCE:
Sibling rivalry is very common. Sibling rivalry just seems to happen even in
the most loving of families. Just ask anyone who has been part of a family with
two or more children. Sibling rivalry is
certainly not new. It began in the
family of Adam and Eve with the rivalry between their sons, Cain and Abel. Another Biblical example was the sibling
rivalry between Esau and Jacob, the twin sons of Isaac. Apparently they were at it while still in the
womb as we read in Genesis 25:22, "The babies jostled each other within
her." Later on we read in Genesis
of the sibling rivalry between Jacob's son Joseph and his ten older brothers.
By definition, sibling rivalry stems
from the desire to outdo a brother or sister.
Parents must use Godly wisdom in dealing with sibling rivalry. In the
family of Cain and Abel we are not told if Adam and Eve played any role in
their rivalry. In the family of Jacob and Esau the parents played a significant
role. Isaac favored Esau and Rebecca favored Jacob. In fact Rebecca not only
favored Jacob but she “aided and abetted” Jacob to get what he wanted. In
Joseph’s family his father, Jacob, brought on the rivalry between Joseph and
his brothers by showing favoritism to Joseph.
When sibling rivalry is not dealt with
in the right way it leads to jealousy and anger which leads to hate. Jealousy
has a disastrous affect on the family.
In Adam’s family it resulted in the
first murder. When God accepted Abel’s offering but rejected Cain’s offering
Cain became very angry and killed Abel.
In Isaac’s family when Esau discovered
his brother Jacob cheated him out of his birthright and the blessing of his
father, Esau hated Jacob and planned to kill him. Jacob’s parents had to send
Jacob away to spare his life. Sibling rivalry from the beginning of time has
torn families apart.
In Joseph's family, Joseph was the
favored son of Jacob and Jacob had made it very obvious. The ten older brothers saw Joseph as a rival
for their father's love and esteem. They became bitterly jealous and coveted
Joseph's relationship that he had with their father. That rivalry turned to hate toward their
brother and like Cain and Esau they wanted to kill their brother. (Genesis 37)
John tells us in I John 2 that anyone
who hates his brother is walking around in darkness and doesn't know where he
is going. Hate is in itself a sin
because it leads us to greater sin. Hate
blinds us and keeps us from the light that is in Christ Jesus. Without the
light of Jesus we will follow the wrong path in life.
As a result of their hate for Joseph his
brothers were walking around in darkness.
They were blind and couldn't judge right from wrong. Apparently, Jacob was unaware of what his
favoritism was doing to his family and blind to the feelings of his older
sons. He certainly did nothing to take
control of the situation.
There will be rivalry between siblings
and their parents have a responsibility to be aware of their children's
feelings and help them to learn to work out their differences. Parents must be very careful to not show
favoritism. Children must be taught to care about each other and to be sensitive
to one another's feelings. It is hard to
mistreat someone you love and care about.
Learning to get along with siblings enables children to get along with
other children. As we have said before
the parents must "set the example" by making their children feel
loved and important and that their feelings matter.
LEARNING:
Our memory verse for this week is found
in Psalms 100:4.
Enter into His gates with thanksgiving,
and into His courts with praise. Be thankful unto Him, and bless His name.
PRAYER:
Help me to be aware of my children's feelings
and assure each one that they are loved and valued for who they are. Help me to teach them to love each other and
work out their differences. Help each
one of us to be forgiving of one another as Jesus has forgiven us.
